When we got married 2 years ago, we got all sorts of incredible wedding gifts. We moved into our new little home, and I decorated the rooms. Everything had a place. I planted flowers in the front and hung pictures on the walls.
Well, I just finished hanging what’s left of those pictures on the walls of this, our 3rd “house” in 7 months. And, hopefully, we’ll be leaving it too behind in only a few short months.
Since we left our first little blue house on Chattanooga Street, goodness how life is changing!
I never thought I would be so excited to say, “Yes, a couch, a chair, and a bed...that is all the furniture we own.” (What a relief to know that if we leave the door unlocked when we leave, the thieves would begin laughing upon entry stating, “This one must have already been wiped out by our rivals the Wacky Bandits.” Perhaps not an exact quote, but you get the point.)
When we first began selling our brand new wedding presents, I’ll be the first to admit, it hurt. Saying goodbye to the table at which Nick proposed to me still brings a tear to my eye. But, seriously, honestly, through this, God has taught me an amazing lesson. This doozy of lesson! Are you ready to hear it?!
...It’s just stuff. Ok, so it doesn’t sound that amazing, but I challenge you the way God is challenging me. -Don’t get attached to stuff or you’ll miss out.- “Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or-worse!- stolen by burglers.” (Matthew 6:19)
My mom always kept stuff for “good”. She would say things like, “Oh, don’t use those towels. I’m saving them for ‘good’.” She would save things so that they would be there when she, someday, finally felt she absolutely needed them. When my mom died, my sister and I laughed and cried when we went through her sock drawer. So many brand new socks she was saving for ‘good’. It’s just stuff...yeah, well I have done much worse.
I have a past shadowed by worry. I worried about money the most. I hung on to money I would get for my birthday for years in a little envelope afraid that if I spent it, immediately The Great Depression would again ensue, and it would be all my fault that I couldn’t feed my family. It sounds silly, but it gave me a sense of security. It gave me a sense of control. I would say, if asked, that “Of course I completely rely on God to supply my needs.” Yeah right I did. Are you kidding me? I have it all under control. I am responsible and very capable to take care of my needs. I work 40+ hours a week...I trust God to supply my needs if ever it becomes necessary because right now I’ve got it under control. My preoccupation, my need to control my own security, had caused me to completely miss out on understanding my simple need for Christ and Him only. I guess I’m finally getting to my point.
For me, these last few months of letting go and allowing God to take control of all of it, has been unimaginable. It has taken me giving up everything I had control over and everything that made me feel secure to begin to understand what it means to trust God. God not only provides when you let Him, but He does it in ways I could have never dreamed up. When I think of my needs I think on an outside flat scale...food, shelter, gas for the car, etc. God sees it differently. When He sees my needs He thinks on an over, under, around and through scale. Since I’ve begun to allow God to strip away my control issue and trust Him, He has provided completely. What better hands to be in than those of my own creator.
❅Recommended readings...Matthew 6, and “Counterfeit Gods” by Tim Keller
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